Now I’m making my list, just because I can. I’m not particularly grumpy today–I just like lists, and I haven’t made this list yet. Here, 21 things the Monster irrationally hates.
1. The word “moist.” I don’t know what it is about it, but the word just sounds gross. It gives me the shivers.
2. Iphones. I’ve never owned one, and I don’t intend to own one. I don’t like touch screens all that much anyhow.
3. When people ask me when I’m going to have another child. *Ahem.* None of your business.
4. Text speak. Even in texts, I write in complete sentences with correct punctuation and capitalization—at least when there isn’t a typo. I *hate* feeling like I need to decipher a code to read a text.
5. People who drive in the left lane, especially going slowly. If you’re in that lane and you’re not passing someone, you’re a douche-canoe.
6. Ice cream with anything in it—cookies, cookie dough, chocolate, etc. I don’t like things interrupting my ice cream.
7. Spongebob. He’s got a terribly annoying voice, and he’s just kind of gross most of the time.
8. Strawberry milk and/or ice cream. Just no.
9. Chevron patterns. Ohmygodtheyareeverywhere.
10. Sleeping in bed alone. This has been a pet peeve of mine since I was small. When I’m in bed alone, I sleep with pillows on all sides of me and/or with Tank curled up by me so as to not feel alone.
11. Driving. I actually have to drive a lot now, and I’m more accustomed to it, but I’ve disliked driving since the moment I first got behind the wheel.
12. Talking on the phone. As an introvert, I feel silences keenly. It’s also very difficult to multitask while talking on the phone.
13. Buying toilet paper. No, I don’t know why.
14. People who think they’ve outgrown children’s books/Disney movies/etc. The culture of maturity and its insistence that children are somehow less than adults is frustrating.
15. Needing a book to keep up with all of my passwords. *sigh*
16. Socks and close-toed shoes. I absolutely hate them. I try to wear sandals most of the time, and when I can’t, I wear flats. Shoes are prisons for feet.
17. The Doge meme. Just. Hate. It.
18. Skype. I know it’s supposed to be even better than a phone call. But as an introvert, it ties me down even more than a phone call, as whomever I’m speaking with can see what I’m doing, and half of the time there are technical difficulties at some point, rendering the whole thing far more painful than it needs to be.
19. Wedges. Those shoes are ugly. While we’re on the topic, so are Uggs and Crocs.
20. Having a name that is 2 letters different from my mother’s name. I love my name, and I love that I’m named after her, but having a name that is so very, very close to hers (Dianne and Diana) has cost us a lot of mixed up mail, wrong numbers, and misspellings over the years.
21. Clowns. *shiver*