The (Late) Edition: If We Were Having Coffee…

Unsplash by Justin Leibow
Unsplash by Justin Leibow

I’d tell you that I’ve been watching what’s going on in Ferguson, but I just don’t know what to say about it. I’m sad, I’m angry, and I’m perplexed. I watch on my computer so that Little Jedi doesn’t see the violence, the hate. But then I wonder how much good I’m doing him by protecting him from that, and I become so incredibly aware that, for me, this is an option. That for other people it’s not. That there are kids Little Jedi’s age and younger in who cannot be sheltered from what is happening because it is happening in their neighborhood, because it is happening to them.

*****

I’d tell you that I’m so busy right now that my head is just spinning. Little Jedi and I both start school this Wednesday, which means that I’ve got about a day and a half to wash his uniforms, put the finishing touches on my syllabi and Blackboard shell, come to terms with Little Jedi being old enough to get to real school, and work on studying for comps. I have my first meeting of the semester with my comps director on Wednesday, and we’ll likely set a date for my defense on that day. I expect it to be mid-September…For some reason September 13 is the date I’ve been working toward in my head, even though that’s a Saturday. Clearly, I won’t take the exams on a Saturday, but I could end up taking the first half of them (a take-home portion) that weekend. We’ll see after I meet with my director.

Last night I had my standard, beginning-of-the-semester dream. I arrive on campus a little bit behind schedule, so I’m hurrying to park, get out of the car, and trek across campus. I step into a room full of college students and professors who’ve come to observe my teaching. Only I’ve forgotten my textbook and haven’t created a syllabus for the class, so this roomful of instructors and students watches me flounder for about 10 minutes before one annoyed professor informs me, loudly, that I won’t be teaching that class and takes over the lesson.

Pretty horrifying, though less so than the other recurring beginning-of-the-semester dream where I’m losing my teeth. Little Jedi and I talked about how nervous he is to go to school, and I had to tell him that, this many years later and as a teacher, I’m still nervous about going back to school. I had to laugh a little when he said “that’s a lot of years to be nervous.” It is indeed.

*****

I’d tell you that this weekend Sam and I took Little Jedi to see the Mississippi Braves play. The Mississippi Braves are a farm team for the Atlanta Braves. My dad invited us–he works for a bank that has a suite in the stadium, so we watched the game mostly from inside, sitting on fluffy couches and eating ballpark food that we didn’t have to stand in line for. It’s the best way I’ve found to watch a baseball game, really.

I don’t watch much baseball anymore, but when I do, it’s mostly the NY Yankees. My mom is a Yankees fan, and she and I watched baseball together when I was younger. Gene’O, though, is a Boston fan, which makes watching games between Boston and NY (rival teams, for those who don’t follow baseball) quite fun. Baseball, though, just isn’t something I’ve had much time to pay attention to lately, both because of time and because of access to the games—there aren’t many NY Yankee games carried on the stations around here.

Anyway, the game was a lot of fun–Little Jedi got to run about and play, and we got the experience of the game in a neat way. It did put me a little behind on my work, but I think I needed the break for a day.

*****

I’d ask what you’re thinking of, what you’d like to talk about on this rainy (at least in NOLA) Monday.

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12 Comments

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  1. Many years ago (20+) I used to go watch The Jackson Mets. They were the pre-curser to the Mississippi Braves. It was so much fun, I can remember seeing Darryl Strawberry play.
    I have had that dream where my teeth are falling out, it is a horrifying dream, thankfully it happens very rarely.
    I am enjoying discovering your blog, and I want to thank you for requiring the images posted to be the property of the submitter and not “borrowed” off of the web. As an artist who works very hard to create images, you definitely earned my respect from the start.

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    1. That’s so funny that you mention that—my husband hadn’t been since the team was the Jackson Mets.

      And thanks for your kind words! I try to be conscious of others’ work and, if I borrow something, make sure that first it can be borrowed and second to give credit through links etc. We are a little group of writers and creators, those of us who got together to start these blogs, and we are firm believers in art-as-work, intellectual property, and giving credit where credit is due. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’d say this coming week is a HUGE one for you. I laughed at the wisdom of a 5-year-old who understands that you’ve been nervous for a long time. I’d tell you that I managed to stop thinking of it as nervousness – which was a generic, I-have-no-control kind of feeling, and more of ‘performance anxiety’ – something I could be specific about and focus my concerns. It helps me deal with the doom-and-gloom.

    I’d say that I thought I was the only person who had the ‘teeth dream’. Maybe I’m normal after all 😉

    I’d wish you a great back to school week, and hope that all your fears turn out to be nothing but fluff 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It has been a huge week, indeed! I haven’t even been back online since Monday afternoon other than to answer e-mails. My nerves are, generally, the performance anxiety sort at this time of year. This year they just happen to be in super-high gear because of Little Jedi starting kindergarten and upcoming exams, each their own kind of performance anxiety, though.

      Things went well today—Little Jedi doesn’t want to get up early and go back tomorrow, though! lol My class went well, and although I’ve just stopped working at 9:00, we all got through relatively unscathed.

      And I hear the teeth dream is indicative of anxiety, so it does seem to be at least a semi-common dream. I dunno about normal, though. Then again, it’s just a setting on the dishwasher. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, the baseball madness. When my facebook feed begins to fill with different people cheering on different teams, and I sit back and pretend to know what is going on.
    Back-to-school anxiety! I think I’m getting some of that and I’m not even starting up a school year in any way this year!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha….I’ve been so anxious that I haven’t even been back on the blog much these past few two days, and they’ve also just been very, very busy.

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  4. Hold back the news world ? sadly you will not be able to do so once he starts school, the other children will talk about it. Strangely though children are wiser than we give them credit for.
    Ferguson is terrible, it demonstrates that all the repression the poor and black people of that part of America have suffered in the past has turned round and bitten middle class white America on the bum.
    Who knows what will happen where it will end I do knot know but end it will. I pray it will be a good result for all!

    Little Jedi is growing up fast school already! I am sure he will love it . He sounds wise beyond his years his comment on how long you have suffered nerves as a n for you both and Little Jedi!

    Finally I’d say you and little Jedi will survive starting school, I bet Little Jedi will settle in in a flash. You too will ace it!! Be well and happy and thanks for the coffee do drop by my place on a Sunday there is mine and Paul’s guest blog to relax in!! xxxx

    PS I hope what I said about the Ferguson incident is not offensive to anyone I just see it from a different angle being English. feel free to remove it or not approve it or cut it out. xx

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    1. No, not offensive. And I should say that I’m not trying to hold back the world. It’s the violence of the news that I don’t think he’s quite ready for yet, not racial politics. He’s already quite aware of differences, and we talk about race and ethnicity in an age-appropriate way. We live in the southern U.S., and I teach freshman composition at a university, so the racial inequalities that stratify the area (and the whole country, really) are things that I’m keenly aware of.

      I’m just not sure that 5 is a good time to see tanks rolling through a neighborhood. Again, though, I acknowledge that I’m privileged to be able to make that distinction, as those parents in Ferguson (not to mention parents of children in other countries and war-torn spaces) don’t have the luxury of turning it off.

      It’s all so sad, and it’s all so complicated. I wish no child ever had to learn that sort of thing, but that’s not a wish I can fulfill. I’ll be the first to agree with you, though, that children are far wiser and more discerning than they’re often given credit for, though. 🙂

      And thanks for your kind words about school! It’s just that jittery time of year right before everything gets started, and it’s even more jittery with exams coming up in a month.

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  5. today was the first day back for my daughter. we agreed to talk about it as little as possible beforehand. I think that does loads to lessen the anxiety. She jumped out of bed and was joking around and dancing this morning…good sign. My son will be homeschooling starting Sept. 2. Should be interesting!

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    1. 🙂 Good sign indeed.

      We’ve been talking about school off-and-on since this will be his first time in a big-kid school and he’ll be in a Spanish immersion program.

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