#WeekendCoffeeShare: 4/16/16

weekendcoffeeshare

If we were having coffee, we’d be perched on my purple sofa. I’d tell you hello, and I’d probably be speaking fairly softly, since I still have a wee cough and a bit of a headache leftover from the past week’s illness. We’ve all of us ended up sick, and so the house has been full of coughing, sneezing, blowing noses, and medication-induced snoring. Luckily, we’re most out of all that now, but the week was a bit hazy. Somehow I managed to publish most of the A to Z posts that were up this week, and though I managed to skip Wednesday, I’ll put myself back on track again tomorrow.

I would tell you that I wish I’d had more time for the challenge this go-round, because I haven’t reached out to as many other bloggers as I generally do. I haven’t even been able to make my coffee visits for the last two weeks, and that’s unfortunate since there have been so many new people participating and so many good posts going up. But I lost a week being sick, and the week before I lost to birthday party preparations and doings, and so here we are, halfway through April, and I’m scrambling.

But maybe it’s nice to scramble sometimes. I feel like I’m beginning to push myself back to the top of a pretty large slump that I’ve been in. Remember that part from Oh! The Places You’ll Go? “And when you’re in a slump, you’re not in for much fun. Unslumping yourself is not easily done.” Or something like that. He was right, you know. Unslumping yourself is a difficult task, and I still have some work to do.

For one thing, it’s difficult to say when the slump began. It wasn’t a thing that happened all-of-a-sudden, and even from a gradual perspective it’s difficult to see the trajectory. But maybe that isn’t the point anyway. It’s difficult to isolate beginnings and endings of things in life because events insist upon jumbling up together, vying for attention like so many puppies. If only they were all so cute as puppies. But the slump isn’t nearly as cute as a puppy, and I suppose what matters most isn’t where the slope began as where it ended up, which was a Large Pit of Suck.

That Large Pit of Suck has been most of the last few years, in some ways. Sure, there have been some absolutely grand highlights—marriage and moving to a place I like more and meeting some entirely new and unexpected people—but the move was detrimental in a very big way for me. I went from having very little unstructured free time to having an abundance of unstructured time and a mountain of things to do that were uninteresting to me. I haven’t solved that problem yet, and it’s a big one. Without a deadline to work toward, and without real consequences for my research and writing, it doesn’t hold much urgency. Add that to mostly being a housewife, and suddenly I’m reading The Feminine Mystique with a whole different idea of what Friedan was talking about.

Because, confession (And this will come as a shock, I know but hold onto your hats): I am not a good housewife. At all. I don’t know how to cook. I have a propensity for falling down stairs, so I can’t carry the laundry down to be washed or up to be put away. I’m terrible at sweeping, because I just fucking am, apparently, and I don’t know how to mend things. Little Jedi is in school until the afternoon.

But if I am not a good housewife, I am equally terrible at working from home. I detest mornings, so I mostly avoid them unless it’s my day to take Little Jedi to school (yes, we switch days and sometimes my working husband drops him off while I sleep in; no, I don’t care what you think). My work the nonprofit is a fun but not-very-stable gig, sometimes requiring nothing for weeks on end. The photography studio is indefinitely on hold due to the photographer’s partner being very ill and a stable, insurance-providing job being a necessity for them. I don’t currently have any tutoring or proofreading clients, and I’m honestly not sure if I want to get back into the academic world in any way at all, so I haven’t searched for any.

And my own writing is…At an impasse. I’m enjoying what I write from the blog, and it has returned to being focused and nuanced content usually focused on girls and women and/or pop culture. A to Z has been fantastic for that, and I’ve also had the benefit of the community that continues to grow around these weekend coffee share posts. But this little blog is not a profitable enterprise (and I don’t necessarily thing it should be), and there are things I’d like to write that cannot be placed here. I need to write those Things, but there are some Hard Things to Write in there, and Decisions to Be Made about where and how to present those things, and meanwhile there are Bills to Be Paid.

And there was the slump, the sum of it. And here it is still. I feel as though I’m almost up a steep path; I’m working on un-slumping myself.

It’s not easily done.

*****

So.

If we were having coffee, I would assume you need some time to digest all of that. It was a lot. I’m not usually quite so talkative during our weekend coffee meetings, especially of late. But sometimes a long, honest rambling is what would happen if we were having coffee.

Link up your coffee posts below, and don’t forget to use the #weekendcoffeeshare tag on Facebook and Twitter!

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25 Comments

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  1. I understand about the unslumping. I sometimes feel like I have been trying to unslump my entire life. Some weeks I do better than others but I never quite feel out of it. Life feels so much like swimming upstream and for awhile you let yourself be pulled by the current rather than fight anymore, just so you can rest. The problem is, at some point you will have to swim even harder. This doesn’t sound very encouraging I know, I am only relating how I am relating. The only good part is it always gets better after it’s gotten worse. You will find a way out.

    P.S. When my girlfriend and I first met we dreamed that one day I would make enough money that she could stay home, be a housewife, and raise our kids. Fast forward 10 years or so and she makes a lot more money than me and it is becoming clear that I will be the housewife instead. We both know I will suck at it. I hate cooking, I hate cleaning, and I am easily frustrated by children but I am going to have to make it work one day when we have kids. I have asked her in advance not to be too disappointed in me when that time comes lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha…My husband and I have always joked that he would be an excellent househusband. But his is the more marketable degree, and he’s able to keep a consistent position more easily. I could do full-time work, but then there would be the question of what to do about getting Little Jedi from school, and we don’t actually need the funds from me working full time. I’m looking for something that will be more consistently part-time than my current gig, but a good part-time job that isn’t in a bar or retail is proving to be a difficult find.

      And I know what you mean about the long-term slump. I think for me that’s related to having anxiety and depression issues that go back to my adolescence, too, though.

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  2. It takes a while to get int the groove of being a housewife and a stay-at-home mum. But once you have, enjoy it. Remember that the most important thing for little Jedi is to have a loving home with a mum who takes the time to play with him and help him with his homework.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that part of my problem is not doing well with unstructured time. I have to figure out how to constructively break up time here at home so that I don’t drive myself bananas.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It seems there’s a bit of a “slump” thing going around because I too find myself in somewhat of a slump and well, if I’m honest, I think I’ve been there for a while. This weekend coffee share does help me get out of it though, so thank you! Good luck with getting out of your slump!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! I’m working on getting out of the slump, and I think that I’m on the way, though it may take a while. Good luck to you, too, and I’m glad you found the coffee shares. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Housework is not my main like, I rather be reading. I feel my self going into a slump, I find my allergies are snapping my strength. Your moved and new things and people to met are a lot of fun, but can be tiring as you grow older. Kato says it hungry time so I better feed him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m finding you’re right about the moving. I’ve been here 3 years, but in some ways I feel like I’m still getting my bearings. The move was a big change for both my kiddo and I, so the last few years have taken a lot of adjustment.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for the coffee and the chat. It appears that while we are all different and unique, we are still plagued by the same damned “slump”. My to-do list (and the dust bunnies) keeps growing, as do the cobwebs/hair growing in the corners, but my motivation has flown the coop and I figure they will be here long after I’m gone…besides, it all just gets too overwhelming sometimes to deal with! You are not alone!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I hope you find your motivation again! I’m beginning to, I think. I’d let a lot of things sit for too long, but it feels like spring in more ways than just the weather.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I hope your unslumping goes fantastically well! If there is anything a nerd can do to help, please let me know!!! ❤ You are awesome, and I have no doubt that you can get things precisely as you want them.

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  7. Ugh.. I get so much of what you’re saying here. I’m not having to housewife – but I am having to single-lady it while living in a house with other family members – so there are certain expectations (thank god I don’t have anyone coming into my room, so it can remain as much of a mess as it needs to). And while I do work an 8-5 job with deadlines and expectations I also have those side projects and side business that have less clear deadlines – and it is SO easy to end up floundering (like right now, right now I am supposed to be working on the Jamberry stuff, not blogging stuff…) Hugs to you – I know you’ll figure out a pattern and pull fully out of that slump, it just takes time and some amount of pushing yourself. Like, setting hard and fast deadlines and making yourself accountable to them somehow (even if it means bringing in someone else to help enforce them that will glare you down if you don’t meet them.
    Righto- back to work, my coffee share will have to come later tonight. I said it here so now I HAVE to follow through, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m working on ways to make deadlines. The A to Z stuff has been good for that because it created real deadlines for me to write toward for the first time since I’d left school, and I needed that. It’s been a little rocky, but I’ve mostly managed to pull it off. I’ve just got to figure out some other things, like where to go from here.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah.. I find that deadlines where I’ve made a commitment (or have the perception of a commitment) help. Like, if I say on this blog that I will be posting xyz on Wednesday then I feel like I HAVE to do it or else people will get mad at me.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yeah—I think that the blogging urgency left me a bit when Gene’O when on his blogging hiatus, and even I didn’t feel as much pressure to write anymore. But I think I’m getting some equilibrium against since I’m writing every day.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Think a lot of us hit a blogging slump — I’m trying to reinterpret it as a cautionary tale about the importance of pacing yourself… it’s a marathon, not a sprint (says the non-runner).

          Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh my, I have the feeling that we are down in a similar hole at the moment. I do hope that you’ll be able to restructure things in the near future.
    I have taken a proactive stance to unslumping myself. Write lists with things you want and have to do…
    I am sure that you could monetise your blog somehow, without it being a problem. I think that that should not be a problem, we invest so much time and energy into our blogs that a financial return would definitely be a welcoming thing.
    Put a page for your proofreading.
    I hope that you’ll get over that cold soon (you are always sick). Have a good weekend!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am taking a long way of un-slumping, but I think that’s because it took me a while to get into this particular slump. It’s something that is bigger than just the writing, obviously. And so among other things I decided to see my doctor and a new psychiatrist, both of who are working on helping me to get the physical side of things back where they should be. I think it’s all connected, so the next few months will probably be uncomfortable but good in the long run.

      On the other note…I’ve been thinking of ways to monetize the blog or to use it alongside something—a proofreading/editing business or tutoring, say, but I haven’t really decided what, if anything, would work. I think maybe as I unravel some of the other things I’ll get some ideas for how the site can change and what its next chapter might be.

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  9. ” Unslumping yourself is a difficult task, and I still have some work to do” — this has been my struggle as well. I have not been posting to my blog consistently and that is because I have been questioning the value I add with the things I write about. I keep asking myself…who am I doing this for? What value does it add? And then anxiety sets in and the post remains unpublished. But I am thankful for this coffee share because it has created the opening I need to just write for me…and “ramble” at times. It does my writing soul good.

    I hope you feel better Diana. Cheers to another coffee share.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad you joined in on the coffee share. It has been the major thing that has kept me blogging consistently during part of my slump–there were a few weeks when a coffee post was all I managed, but writing for A to Z has really jump-started my writing again. Let’s just hope that keeps up!

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  10. Hi Diana! I’ve been following your blog for some time, and I always tell myself that I’ll join in on the weekends. But, I too have been in a bit of a slump. Working on getting out of it, and so I finally wrote my first weekend coffee share post! Also, I tend to fall down the stairs, too;)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad you stopped by to say hi and join the coffee share!

      I’m slooowly coming out of my slump. I keep having to remind myself that it took me a while to fall down into a slump, so it will take a while to get back out of it. That helps. 🙂

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